We tried to wean Zach off the paci again last night by telling him they were gone and we didn't know where they went. He asked about several locations in an earnest plea for us to find the silly sucker. We stood firm and told him they were gone. He actually went to sleep without it, even though he told me he didn't want to be a big boy; he wanted to be a baby and have his paci. He slept pretty good until about 3 am, when he called out for his daddy. David went to him and of course Zach asked for the paci. David convinced him it was truly gone and then offered to stay and sleep with him. They both went to sleep and without the paci!
I walked into Zach's room this morning after I got dressed. He appeared to still be asleep, but then opened his eyes and started crawling toward me asking about the paci again. I stuck with the plan and told him they were gone. He was deep in thought for a few seconds and then said "The fireman take my pacis? I said umm, the fireman took your paci's? just to make sure I heard him right. He shook his head yes and said that is what happened. I decided to go with it and I said. "Yes, the fireman took your pacis so he can give them to babies who need them." He scrunched up his forehead in deep thought again and then said. "No, I don't want babies to have my pacis." So I told him the fireman would just keep them then and he seemed pacified by that for some reason.
He must've had some colorful dreams about firemen. He's had a good bit of experience with emergency personnel - firemen breaking us into our house on Christmas day last year when we locked ourselves out (they came in the big engine and in full gear, 4 of them), we later took them a cake for their efforts and they let Zach wear a firehat and sit in the truck; and then there was the night he rode in the ambulance after his febrile seizure. We took cupcakes to those guys and they let him play with the sirens and sit in the ambulance driver seat. So, I guess it's not too out there for him to conjure up this story. Is it?
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Shout out to Entree Vous in Nicholasville
I know they will never read this, but I had to give a quick shout out to the people at this awesome meal preparation joint. Ever since I got the "go gluten free or die" label, it's been a challenge on the cooking side of life. It's gotten a lot easier, but the convenience has been slower to arrive. Enter Entree Vous; the chefs there are so nice and patient. Whenever I want to get something for my freezer that will make my life easier and healthier, they have taken as much time as I needed to go over ingredients and tweak dishes to make them safe for the gluten free gal. We probably get one or two meals (which makes 3 or 4 for our family) from them each month. They really know their stuff and make sure I only get/use ingredients that are safe for me. They are even making me a crustless cheesecake special this week! I'm so excited :)
Oh and yes, I posted twice today haha lucky for all my many readers; they get a double dose...again, I must remind you that it's national sarcastic awareness month :P
Oh and yes, I posted twice today haha lucky for all my many readers; they get a double dose...again, I must remind you that it's national sarcastic awareness month :P
If God made you a singer, you have to sing!
Lately everytime we head for church, Zachary has been asking me if I have to sing. He's talking about worship team because we have to be there early to practice and I usually send him off with this dad to play while I practice. When I tell him yes, he usually says "No, I don't want you to sing." It's a good guilt trip after a few sad, puppy eyes and sniffs. But then he always goes off and has a good time with daddy and he's fine. He just likes to make me feel crummy for a little while, I suppose.
It occurred to me that maybe by not addressing the question with more than a yes, I was missing an opportunity to bestow almighty wisdom on the kid..yeah that's it and it's also sarcastic awareness month.
But seriously, the last few times he's asked me I have said, "yes, I do. If God makes you a singer, you have to sing. If God makes you a preacher, you have to preach. If God makes you a teacher, you have to teach." And, so on. It's so true though, you just have to use the talents God gives you and it's important for kids to learn that as early as possible.
I hope Zachary will be a singer - he can already hold a tune pretty well as he walks around humming Twinkle, Twinkle and Jesus Loves Me. It's sweet, but if God doesn't make him a singer, He will give him another talent that He expects Zach to use for his Glory.
It occurred to me that maybe by not addressing the question with more than a yes, I was missing an opportunity to bestow almighty wisdom on the kid..yeah that's it and it's also sarcastic awareness month.
But seriously, the last few times he's asked me I have said, "yes, I do. If God makes you a singer, you have to sing. If God makes you a preacher, you have to preach. If God makes you a teacher, you have to teach." And, so on. It's so true though, you just have to use the talents God gives you and it's important for kids to learn that as early as possible.
I hope Zachary will be a singer - he can already hold a tune pretty well as he walks around humming Twinkle, Twinkle and Jesus Loves Me. It's sweet, but if God doesn't make him a singer, He will give him another talent that He expects Zach to use for his Glory.
Monday, September 22, 2008
You need a band-aid?
At one of the lowest points of last week I actually allowed myself to cry in front of Zach. I'd been trying to protect him from the stress I was going through, but sometimes that's pretty tough to do. He was so cute though, he was just blankly staring up at me, speechless. Then he said "Mommy, you sad?" I told him yes, I was sad, but I would be okay. He kept staring at me and I could just see the wheels turning in his head before he uttered "You need band-aid, mommy?" That made me cry more, not because I was so sad really, but more because of the empathy I saw pouring out of my child, offering me the only thing he knows helps fix a boo-boo. I told him that yes, I needed a big band-aid. He said he would get me one and then I stopped him and asked if he would be my band-aid. He looked at me in total confusion and just said "umm, no; I can't do it, I not you band-aid." We all giggled a little at that, especially since he didn't realize that is exactly what he was for me that day - my band-aid.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Life is such a roller coaster
I think in the last two weeks, I've experienced just about every emotion possible on the human spectrum. I went from being a little surprised and even scared when I found out I was pregnant on Sept. 8, to complete joy and uncontainable excitement when the digital test confirmed that YES we were pregnant. I think that was the 7th positive I took and I finally believed it. I believed it enough to tell everyone I possibly could and even put up a photo of that test on facebook for the world to see. The next few days were spent over thinking the new baby and exactly how our lives might change in May next year. Those few days were so full of positive energy and congratulations.
I started to have some strange feelings over the weekend; like something was wrong with this pregnancy. I had some cramping that I don't remember having with Zach that early on. I tried to focus my mind elsewhere and not worry about it too much, but then on Monday afternoon, the spotting started. I called the doctor, who ordered a blood test to see where my hcg beta levels were. I took another pregnancy test that night and it was negative. My heart sank. This was such a new experience, I've never miscarried before and I was scared. As the bleeding became heavier and the cramping became worse, all I could do was cry and pray. The beta level came back at 11, not good, but still showing some sign of pregnancy. My doctor said she was 95 percent sure I was having a miscarriage, but she wanted to retest my beta (today) to make sure it was going down. She said she didn't want to give me any false hope, but that strange things have happened and she didn't want to give me a script to speed up the process if the level wasn't going down. So now I sit waiting on the phone call that will tell me what I already know in my heart; my baby is gone. I know some will say "wow you were only five weeks, it's only a bunch of cells." But I believe it was my child and it's such a hard thing to imagine your child dying, whether you've held him/her or not.
I've cried so much and felt comforted by stories that have come in from friends admitting they've gone through the same thing - some of them more than once. I know they feel my pain. It was hard to go to church last night, even though I thought I'd find comfort there. Some people hadn't heard the bad news yet and came happily congratulating me and I could see the uneasiness on their faces as I told them I lost the baby. I don't know what else to say to anyone; I don't want them to feel bad, but I don't want them to believe something that isn't true just so they won't feel bad if that makes any sense.
I'm a writer; it's what I do so I think that putting my thoughts down in written form helps give me clarity when I'm going through trials and that's what this is, a trial. My heart will choose to say Blessed be the name of Lord; you give and take away but my heart will choose to say Blessed be the name of the Lord. I know he has a plan for me amid all this. I remember standing in church last Sunday morning and the invitation song was the Potter's Hand. I've sang this song more times than I can remember and I suppose just glazed over the words that God so obviously pointed out to me that day. I almost lost my breath a little when I sang "I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hand; crafted into Your perfect plan." I think He was preparing me even then for what He knew was going to happen the next day.
I'm not saying this is easy; it's one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, but I know God is holding me up. I think the thing that is the worst is that it's not just a quick blow; it's an excruciatingly long process and it feels like you just keep losing the baby all day, all night, for days.
Don't worry if you don't know what to say to me, just pray for me and give me a hug if you get an opportunity. We just want to be in God's perfect plan and we will and hopefully that will include one more child at some point.
I started to have some strange feelings over the weekend; like something was wrong with this pregnancy. I had some cramping that I don't remember having with Zach that early on. I tried to focus my mind elsewhere and not worry about it too much, but then on Monday afternoon, the spotting started. I called the doctor, who ordered a blood test to see where my hcg beta levels were. I took another pregnancy test that night and it was negative. My heart sank. This was such a new experience, I've never miscarried before and I was scared. As the bleeding became heavier and the cramping became worse, all I could do was cry and pray. The beta level came back at 11, not good, but still showing some sign of pregnancy. My doctor said she was 95 percent sure I was having a miscarriage, but she wanted to retest my beta (today) to make sure it was going down. She said she didn't want to give me any false hope, but that strange things have happened and she didn't want to give me a script to speed up the process if the level wasn't going down. So now I sit waiting on the phone call that will tell me what I already know in my heart; my baby is gone. I know some will say "wow you were only five weeks, it's only a bunch of cells." But I believe it was my child and it's such a hard thing to imagine your child dying, whether you've held him/her or not.
I've cried so much and felt comforted by stories that have come in from friends admitting they've gone through the same thing - some of them more than once. I know they feel my pain. It was hard to go to church last night, even though I thought I'd find comfort there. Some people hadn't heard the bad news yet and came happily congratulating me and I could see the uneasiness on their faces as I told them I lost the baby. I don't know what else to say to anyone; I don't want them to feel bad, but I don't want them to believe something that isn't true just so they won't feel bad if that makes any sense.
I'm a writer; it's what I do so I think that putting my thoughts down in written form helps give me clarity when I'm going through trials and that's what this is, a trial. My heart will choose to say Blessed be the name of Lord; you give and take away but my heart will choose to say Blessed be the name of the Lord. I know he has a plan for me amid all this. I remember standing in church last Sunday morning and the invitation song was the Potter's Hand. I've sang this song more times than I can remember and I suppose just glazed over the words that God so obviously pointed out to me that day. I almost lost my breath a little when I sang "I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hand; crafted into Your perfect plan." I think He was preparing me even then for what He knew was going to happen the next day.
I'm not saying this is easy; it's one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, but I know God is holding me up. I think the thing that is the worst is that it's not just a quick blow; it's an excruciatingly long process and it feels like you just keep losing the baby all day, all night, for days.
Don't worry if you don't know what to say to me, just pray for me and give me a hug if you get an opportunity. We just want to be in God's perfect plan and we will and hopefully that will include one more child at some point.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Potty Training Rewind
Holy, Holy, Holy...last night Zach told me he actually likes to go pee pee in his pants now. We'd come so far and were having minimal accidents and then he just decides to go on strike. Now last time I checked, toddlers didn't have the option to join a potty union so he's going to have to submit to his leaders at some point.
I mean really, we've been at this (at his leading) for more than 8 months now. And yes, I did buy the entire "Potty Training in Day" system. That lady is insane...seriously insane if she thinks my einstein is going to submit to that crap. It would give the parents too much leverage if kids actually potty trained in a day. What a false sense of hope that book shoves in our face?!? I'm sure there are those rare kiddos that actually get it in one day, but come on!!!!!!!
The conversation went something like this when I got to Linda's to pick him up yesterday afternoon.
Me: Zach how did you do on the potty today?
Zach: I pee pee in my pants!
Me: Where does the pee pee go?
Zach: In da potty, mommy!
Me: That's right! So, why are you putting it in your pants?
Zach: ummmm, becuz
Me: Because why?
Zach: ummm, becuz I like go pee pee in in in my pants! I like the pee pee in pants, yeah...I do!
Me: Ewww, that's gross; you like to be wet?
Zach: ummm, yeah, I do!! (followed by jumping and turning in circles).
Me: that's just nasty
Zach: naseee?
Me: yes, nasty! You need to keep your pants dry all day, like you did over the weekend.
Zach: Ummm no, I don't; I like pee pee in....my pants!!!
I realized at this point, I'd lost the battle for the day and there was no point in continuing. Now he won't poop in his pants, he thinks that's gross, so at least we have that. But gracious!
Speaking of potty training rewind - last week we took Zach to the pediatric GI clinic. He had been constipated once and I asked our pedi about running the celiac blood panel on him just to check; not because he'd been constipated, but because of my gluten intolerance and the possibility that Zach inherited that. He referred us to pedi GI and that's where the fun started.
We waited TWO HOURS in the exam room waiting for what I thought would be a GI specialist to come in and discuss bloodwork for Zach. Well all we saw was a nurse practitioner. Granted, NP's do know A LOT and sometimes take more time with you than a doctor, but considering our wait in a speciality clinic, I expected to see a specialty doctor! She came in lecturing me about the seriousness of celiac disease and the strictness of a gluten free diet, which DUH, I know; I've been doing it since March. She asked me if I really wanted Zach to have that label...well yes if he has it, I want to know. Anyway, the constipation came up and she wrote down "stool witholding" on his chart. I said he hadn't been doing that; he'd actually only gone one day without going. The rest of the time, he asked to go and he did it in the potty.
She told me that "despite what other people think, it's still potty training if your child can tell you they have to go and you say 'okay honey, let me put a pull up on you and you can go in it,' that's still progress and the child showing you they understand." WHAT THE HECK?? There is no way I'm rewinding all of it and telling him to poo in his pants even if he does tell me he has the urge. That was the lamest thing I've ever heard. I know I'm a first-time mom, but give me some credit; that is complete bull. I wonder if her school age kids still ask for poo poo pants when they have to go. WHATEVER! :)
I was going to write some really philosophical analogy, but I just can't lol; I can't lol.
I mean really, we've been at this (at his leading) for more than 8 months now. And yes, I did buy the entire "Potty Training in Day" system. That lady is insane...seriously insane if she thinks my einstein is going to submit to that crap. It would give the parents too much leverage if kids actually potty trained in a day. What a false sense of hope that book shoves in our face?!? I'm sure there are those rare kiddos that actually get it in one day, but come on!!!!!!!
The conversation went something like this when I got to Linda's to pick him up yesterday afternoon.
Me: Zach how did you do on the potty today?
Zach: I pee pee in my pants!
Me: Where does the pee pee go?
Zach: In da potty, mommy!
Me: That's right! So, why are you putting it in your pants?
Zach: ummmm, becuz
Me: Because why?
Zach: ummm, becuz I like go pee pee in in in my pants! I like the pee pee in pants, yeah...I do!
Me: Ewww, that's gross; you like to be wet?
Zach: ummm, yeah, I do!! (followed by jumping and turning in circles).
Me: that's just nasty
Zach: naseee?
Me: yes, nasty! You need to keep your pants dry all day, like you did over the weekend.
Zach: Ummm no, I don't; I like pee pee in....my pants!!!
I realized at this point, I'd lost the battle for the day and there was no point in continuing. Now he won't poop in his pants, he thinks that's gross, so at least we have that. But gracious!
Speaking of potty training rewind - last week we took Zach to the pediatric GI clinic. He had been constipated once and I asked our pedi about running the celiac blood panel on him just to check; not because he'd been constipated, but because of my gluten intolerance and the possibility that Zach inherited that. He referred us to pedi GI and that's where the fun started.
We waited TWO HOURS in the exam room waiting for what I thought would be a GI specialist to come in and discuss bloodwork for Zach. Well all we saw was a nurse practitioner. Granted, NP's do know A LOT and sometimes take more time with you than a doctor, but considering our wait in a speciality clinic, I expected to see a specialty doctor! She came in lecturing me about the seriousness of celiac disease and the strictness of a gluten free diet, which DUH, I know; I've been doing it since March. She asked me if I really wanted Zach to have that label...well yes if he has it, I want to know. Anyway, the constipation came up and she wrote down "stool witholding" on his chart. I said he hadn't been doing that; he'd actually only gone one day without going. The rest of the time, he asked to go and he did it in the potty.
She told me that "despite what other people think, it's still potty training if your child can tell you they have to go and you say 'okay honey, let me put a pull up on you and you can go in it,' that's still progress and the child showing you they understand." WHAT THE HECK?? There is no way I'm rewinding all of it and telling him to poo in his pants even if he does tell me he has the urge. That was the lamest thing I've ever heard. I know I'm a first-time mom, but give me some credit; that is complete bull. I wonder if her school age kids still ask for poo poo pants when they have to go. WHATEVER! :)
I was going to write some really philosophical analogy, but I just can't lol; I can't lol.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Vote for me in November!
Yes, the rumors are true. After all the frustration of trying to figure out who to vote for, I've taken matters into my own hands. I'm running for President of the United States. Check me out:
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