and it's One, Two, Three Frames, You're Out...

Alrighty, Z's first bowling experience was not especially pleasant. You see, David is a serious bowler and he hasn't played in about 6 years. Yes, we've been married just under 6 years, so I suppose this is all my fault hmmm? Anyway, I got a little sneaky because I knew he missed it and he really needs a hobby. I got him hooked up with a league that plays on Friday nights. At first he was just going to be an alternate for the rest of this season, but it turns out there was an opening and now he's a full timer.

The first week, he went by himself, but last week we decided to make it a family affair. Now I'm not a big bowler by any stretch of the imagination. I do have fond memories of bowling alleys and nachos though as I used to tag along with my mom and grandma in their league bowling days. I know it sounds silly, but those were the best nachos in the world...or maybe it was just because my Ma bought them and shared them with me....probably the latter. Geez I miss her, but I digress.

So Z and I ate Nachos last week...they were pretty nasty, I must admit...and watched David bowl while we waited for our own lane. They finally called our name and said we could play one game if we were done in about 45 mins. I thought...NO problem, we'd be done in 30 or less...HA HA HA. We picked out our mighty 8 lb balls and put on those nasty shoes (I swear I'm not wearing them ever again, I forgot how completely unfashionable and ugly they are) Mine were fushia and neon yellow...seriously?

We got the computer set up and the bumpers raised and I led Z up to the line to push his ball....it was the slowest moving ball I've ever seen, and that's when I realized we'd be lucky to finish in an hour...much less 45 mins. By the third frame, he was getting bored....he pushed his ball and it went about 3 feet and pretty much stopped...great, now what? Well, I forgot how slippery the lanes were and told Z to just walk out there and give it a push. Losing mom points yet again, he shuffled out there and leaned down to push the ball and yes...he fell. He got up and then picked up the ball...crap....before I could tell him to put it down, he fell again - this time the ball landed on his lap, smushed his fingers to the wood lane and he was crying. Obviously only thinking of saving my child, I walked out onto the lane and yes, surely and very suddenly my legs flew out from under me and I landed flat on my tail bone, legs out in front barely missing my child's face with my nasty bowling shoes. That sent him into a bigger cry and there we sat 3 feet into the lane, me holding him while he cried. I'm still baffled by the way NOT ONE PERSON offered to help us out...RUDE. I later found out that one lady on David's team saw the whole thing and never bothered to tell him...nice, real nice. So we crawled out and Z decided right then and there he hated bowling and he would not push another ball.

I do not waste money and we had paid $12 for this awesome experience, so I had to finish the whole thing by myself. He followed me to the lane each frame, so I couldn't really swing the ball. I think I bowled about a 60 that night...nice, real nice. Oh, did I mention that I really could not care less about bowling?

Then in the 8th frame...some magical happened. The people in the next lane had this metal contraption, apparently made for children to roll the ball down onto the lane so it's not such a painful wait for the ball to make it to the pins. They let us use it and Z became an instant fan of the sport because now, it was not bowling, it was a ball on a roller coaster, flying down the lane to massively destruct white poles and then waiting for the ball to magically reappear in the ball return...how does that happen so fast anyway?

So tonight, we'll try our hand again at bowling...only this time, we'll use the roller coaster beginning on frame ONE! I think most of the soreness of last week's disaster has worn off and we'll try to toe the line this time :) Still not sure if Z is going to love this as much as his daddy.

Suck It O'Charley's ...umm let me explain

So last night after work, we headed over to O'Charley's because we had a gift certificate to blow and we are a very "eat-out" kind of family. (Side note: if you ever don't know what to get any of us for anything...get us restaurant gift certificates lol). Z ordered chocolate milk, mandarin oranges and a house salad with white dressing and as we were waiting, he commenced singing The Ants Go Marching One by One Hoorah, Hoorah....well in the first verse the little one stops to suck his thumb yada yada. Z gets to verse three and can't remember what the little one stops to do....so he stops and then just loudly says SUCK IT!

Now I have to admit my reaction should've been more stern, however, all I could do was laugh hysterically. Pretty soon the waiter was in on the laughing and Z thought he was just the star of his own little show and so he kept repeating the phrase. I finally calmed down and told him that wasn't a good thing to say and he didn't understand because the little one stops to SUCK his thumb...we SUCK on lemons in our tea, etc. It was really hard to try to explain to my newly-turned 4 entertainer that in that context, it was not a nice thing to say. Let's see that would be mother-failure number...oh, I don't know....this week.

The moon is full of cheese and well, he's probably right

For all I know, the moon IS full of cheese. It's more fun to think that anyway, right? Random conversations with an almost-4-year-old. Apparently this last full moon was the closest to the Earth the moon will be in well...a year. So it looked so huge and me and Z love to look at the moon anyway. I told him it was almost full...he asked me what was it full of and of course daddy told him cheese. I hope they don't really start taking a lot of tourists to the moon anytime soon because we are a fairly cheese-lovin culture and you'd probably get hungry on the moon. ...then in a few decades, no more moon...we will have made queso dip from the entire ball.

Dethroning the lion king

Well, some people say that when they turn 4, a child magically becomes easier to discipline...let's hope that's true for Z...and us! We have plenty of good times and I love the discovery part of this age. We also have had intense power struggles, so we knew we needed to get a hold on Z's worldview really fast. You see, in his worldview, we are here to serve him, obey him and basically let me call all the shots whether it has to do with bedtime routines or when and why we leave the house. If we ever utter a word that might not fit into his daily plan, he gives us what for and fast. Sometimes that includes hitting, screaming, stomping and various other annoying reactions.

I admit, those reactions push every button I apparently have and I have been known to yell back, spank, and probably act a little immature myself.

Well it's time for that to all stop and for the little "king" to come down from the throne. Mama has been empowered and well, I would not try to cross her my little pretty :) I'm taking the scepter back!

It started this week with a hellacious a.m. battle that went something like this:

Me walking into Z's room in the early a.m. singing (yes it was a Monday): Good morning to you, good

Z interrupting with hands over face: DO ....NOT....LOOK...AT...ME

Me: hmmm okay (walked out to go get myself ready)

I went back into his room and flipped on a light in the front half of his room....not above his head. I needed that light to pick out clothes for him to wear to school. Mind you, I did NOT say a word to him before he started ranting at me.

Z: GET OUT OF HERE, I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOU, WHO is gonna be my teacher?

Me: You need to stop being so rude, NOW, that's your only warning mister. We are going to get up and get ready for school.

Z: I DON'T WANT to go to school, I DON'T LIKE MY SCHOOL; I DON'T LIKE MY TEACHERS and I DON'T LIKE YOU MOMMY!

Me calmly: oh okay, well that's too bad that you feel that way. Please get out of your bed and let Daddy help with your clothes.

Z: NO, NO I WILL NOT GET UP, I WILL NOT GET ON MY CLOTHES, THEY ARE COLD, YOU GO PUT THEM IN THE DRYER AND WARM THEM UP...NOW

At that point, I just left the room. It was very difficult to do...to stay calm and not react...not give him what he was seeking...a giant blowup. So David went outside and started the car (it was 8 degrees so it would take awhile to warm up) and Z freaked out thinking we were leaving. He was yelling our names and I didn't answer. Pretty soon he got up, totally transformed (or so I thought) and from the top of the stairs said "I'm out of my bed."

So once he figured out we did not in fact leave him alone, he went back to his ranting at which point I just told David that after he came back from dropping us off to just remove the prized radio from Z's room. When all was said and done that morning, Z had said he was going to put himself in timeout and could not get ready yet because he was in said timeout. Well we don't do timeout anymore in the true sense of the word, but he doesn't know that. We didn't have time to do the full room time that our new strategy includes so I threatened to take him to school half dressed; he didn't like that...put himself back in timeout and began hitting the walls and anything that came remotely close to him...cats, daddy, etc. David wanted to spank him but I convinced him to hold off for the time (in hindsight he should've promptly been thrown over a knee and swatted about 3 times for complete defiance).

Long story somewhat shorter...bedtime came that night and I just felt all hades was going to break out when he saw that boom box gone so prior to that I offered to cuddle him in his bed for 5 mins after we read books and he said "Really? Okay, that means daddy won't have to do it tonight." haha anyway, we got into his room, climbed into bed and then this is what happened.

Z: Where is my radio?

Me: Well, do you remember this morning before school...how badly you acted? You were yelling at mommy and daddy and saying no about putting on clothes. And, you were hitting walls, spitting and disobeying our rules?

Z: uh huh, yes I do

Me: Well, that is why the radio is gone.

Z: okay, can I have it back now

Me: Most certainly not, it's gone for at least three days..at least until Thursday.

Z singing slowly to the tune of Oh My Darlin' Clementine: Sunday, Monday....Tuesday Wednesday...Thursday, Friday, Saturday....

Z : What is today Mommy?

Me: Monday

Z now starts to sing to the tune of frere Jacques: Today is Monday, Today is Monday all day long, all day long, tomorrow will be....Mommy, what is tomorrow?

Me: Tuesday

Z: tomorrow will be Tuesday, tomorrow with me Thursday? all day long, all day long

Me: Nope, tomorrow will be Tuesday, then you have Wednesday, then Thursday.

Z: oh....oh....where's my radio

Me: I already explained why your radio is gone.

Z: I know, but WHERE is it?

Me: I don't know.

Z: you don't know? why?

Me: because daddy put it away

Z: but, where?

Me: not important, end of discussion.

So not as bad as I thought.

Cue to Tuesday morning and the tantrum-prone king reduced to a prince at this point emerges from his room...willing gets half his clothes on then begins ranting again. Told David we once again cannot react emotionally to the outburst but there will now be no Mickey Mouse or Olivia the rest of the week. This has also not been a popular punishment, but this morning was a rare moment with Z getting dressed without a hitch. We briefly had a scuffle about how many dried pineapples he was going to get after he ate his toast, but he realized he wasn't winning so he forfeited this one. Took him to school with white eyes instead of red, breathing normally...wow, not bad.

I know we are not finished the decoronation process, but I think he's starting to see he is not going to phase me with his antics anymore and that it really is in his best interest to be a subject, not royalty. I have felt amazingly liberated by remaining very calm. I'm sure my blood pressure thanks me.

Hopefully we won't ever get to the point where we have to "kick him out of the garden of eden" as John Rosemond says....but I wouldn't hesitate too much if that is what it takes to reign in this "ruler" so that he'll be a respectful, self-controlled ...and yes, sweet, child very soon.

Good Riddence 2009 :)

Well I almost forgot my password, it's been so long since I logged in...ooops. Seriously though, October and November were so jam packed with photo sessions, I barely had time to breathe. But, I loved every minute of it and I am looking forward to spring to do it all over again.

I don't think I can ever remember a year with so much grief and sorrow packed into 52 weeks as this year and I'm ever hopeful that 2010 will not follow that same pattern. We lost so many people we loved this year and though I absolutely believe they are in a better world with Christ, I still miss them dearly in this world.

So here's to you my dear friends who are celebrating a New Year and a New Life:
Angela Cox -I can still hear you laugh and I can still see your smile.
David Meade- I can still hear your wit and sarcasm and my blue office walls remind me of the work you put into them everyday!
Alecia Ward - I still think of you everytime I go to Walmart and see some choice "fashion" bloopers. I still hear your laugh and sarcasm and how you always were so interested in my life.
Joe Hughes - I'll never forget how you made me feel so at home in your home and in your family during my college years at OSU.
Leroy Cravens - I can still see your sweet face sitting at the back of the church on a Wed. night waving at me as I sang.
Malinda Bowman - Wow, I have so many memories...starting Collegiate CattleWomen with you at OSU, visiting you during your illness, seeing your positive outlook even in the worst of times...your faith has inspired me.
Jean McCoy - David's aunt was a special lady and we were shocked to lose her this week. I still remember her hugs and smiles and hospitality.

Aside from all the sadness, there has been plenty of joy....David finished his MBA; Zachary started preschool and wow is he smart. Zachary also moved up into the official boy's gymnastic's program at Legacy and WOW, he's so strong and so talented. We hope he continues to enjoy it there.

We've met new friends, reconnected with old friends and tried our best to maintain friendships with all we can. We were blessed to spend time with my mom and sister for an extended time around Thanksgiving and it was just what I needed. Made me realize once again how much I miss home.

Well friends, I hope you're holding your family close and not taking anything or anyone for granted as you go into 2010. May you be blessed beyond meausre and fully experience the grace and power of God in this coming year.!

Mary and baby....Ryker?

Our hairstylist's name is Mary and she's been cutting Z's hair since he was barely two. She's struggled with fertility but finally God blessed her with a healthy baby last week! Z's been to her salon several times during the pregnancy and we talked about the baby a lot. He's also begged me to read the Bible story about Mary and baby Jesus a lot in the past few months...it's about the only Bible story he wants to hear at this point.

So last Friday we were driving to St. Joe East to see Mary and the baby and I told Z he couldn't go in because they weren't letting kids under 18 in anymore with the swine flu being so widespread. He was miffed and didn't understand and I finally figured out why.....

Z: I want to go in with you!
Me: Sorry, they just won't let kids in the hospital right now, but I'll tell Mary you said hello.
Z: NO, I want to see the baby Jesus, mommy!
Me: Oh no, baby this isn't the baby Jesus, Mary's baby's name is Ryker
Z: No it's not!
Me: Yes, it is.
Z: No, I don't like Ryker, I like Jesus!

After awhile I THINK I finally helped him understand the difference, but he was digging in his heels pretty good on this one.

MANitude

It's pretty mind baffling to watch a boy grow up. Since I grew up mostly in a house of girls, all this is quite new to me. I didn't even know my brothers until I was nearly grown myself, so that didn't prepare me for this either. Regardless it's becoming very clear to me that boys are just boys and no one really has to teach them to be boys.

The interest in all things cars, trucks, trains, airplanes and imitating loud and proud animals hasn't surprised me. I'm quite used to Z running through the house in full lion mode trying to scare anything that will pay attention to him. What I'm not used to is the "man"itude. That's my new word for the day...combination of man and attitude...manitude :) It's the only way I can describe the next few scenarios. I think all boys adopt the manitude at different ages and mine has gotten a full dose early on. It's all prety humorous to witness, especially when you realize it's completey genetic and inherant.

We tried to go to the new Cracker Barrel in Nicholasville yet again. And again, the wait was 45 minutes, which is just a no-go with a three-year-old boy with manitude, no matter how good the mac n cheese promises to be. So we went across the road to Bob Evan's. We had explained to Z over and over again that we couldn't go to CB because it was just too crowded - our first mistake I suppose.

Before the hostess could really ever greet us, Z started talking to her and informed her that "We came here cuz Crackah Bare was too crowded." Nice, where did he learn such tact? Well she thought that was pretty funny and told him she thought he was just too cute. At which point, he put his hand in his coat pocket and said "AND...I have money!" He pulled out a quarter and a penny to show her, but she couldn't see that, she was too busy laughing her head off, along with people behind the counter who kept saying "Did he really just say that?" Umm, yes he did. Apparently no one has to tell little boys that some girls are impressed by money. But I guess I don't have to worry, no goldigger would get too serious about 26 cents, right?

Fast forward a week or so and Z is busy trying to stuff his foam alaphabet puzzle squares into a paperlike backsack freebie that I brought back from MOPS convention. The only problem was the foam squares were wider than the sack and it began to tear. Z came to me and told me to "FIX IT MOMMY!" He was distraught and there was really no way to fix it right...it was torn and I'm not going to sew paper. I kept trying to tie the cords in a way that would make it appear fixed, but it wasn't working and so then came another MANitude gem "Mommy? Do you need a man to fix it?" WHAT....I asked him to repeat it because surely I had not heard that right and besides I'm pretty much the fix it person around our house anyway. It's not strange to see me with a drill, hammer, screwdriver...whatever. So sure enough he said it again....do you need a MAN to fix it? Well, I replied, abosolutely NOT!

I managed to rig that thing up, I had to at that point. When I was finished I called him back over and said "LOOK, a WOman fixed it!"