Catching Up, Celiac and Lots of Needles

I just realized I haven't blogged in forever...well okay, two weeks, but it feels like forever. I just haven't felt really well and I got behind. I've been a pretty healthy person most of my life so the last 7 weeks or so have been extremely miserable and annoying for me. It all started out with my heart racing when I laid down at night. I went to the dr. and they did an EKG and said it was fine. I've been known to produce a little too much adrenaline so they put me on a beta blocker and drew some blood. That's where the fun begins. My labs came back showing elevated liver enzymes, which prompted my dr. to draw MORE blood and schedule a liver ultrasound. In the meantime I was sick with bronchitis, walking pneumonia and some awful stomach symptoms that I won't detail here.

I felt okay after the Z-pack, but my cough never really went away and a week later I started spiking a fever again. So, off the to the urgent treatment center I went where the dr. told me that she wasn't concerned with my 100 degree temp and that it was probably all allergies. WRONG ANSWER. She told me to call back if my fever didn't go down or if I felt worse. Well a week later, I was still coughing, still feverish so I called. She called in a 10 day course of high-dose amoxycillin. That should've killed basically any bug in my body, right? Eight days into that, I still had fever at night and they did a monospot test on me, which came back negative.

Meanwhile, I had the ultrasound that showed my liver was fine, but my spleen was enlarged. At my followup with my real dr. she said she thought I could still have mono and they had not tested me for the right things at the UTC (imagine that). So you guessed it, more blood drawn. This time the results came back showing I had elevated lymphocytes in my blood, which my dr. thought pointed even more to a viral infection. The Epstein Barr virus test (for mono) came back negative, so we're stumped. She was ready to punt me to hematology, but when I told her I hadn't had fever in 4 or 5 days and that I was feeling a lot better, she decided to ...you guessed it, draw more blood. SO tomorrow I have to get another CBC with differential to determine if the lymphocytes have improved.

Oh and I have to mention that in the midst of all this I went gluten-free and it solved all my stomach issues that I've had since Zachary was born. My dr. has not yet fully addressed the gluten problem, but I'll likely get a celiac disease diagnosis before this is all over. So now my theory is that the celiac disease (gluten intolerance) has depressed my immune system so much that my body was just fed up and decided to protest by accepting each and every infection to cross my path. Eating gluten free is a challenge and at times very depressing, however, I'm dealing with it and it's been a month of strict adherence and I KNOW it's helped already.

Yes I'm still nervous about my big ol' spleen and my high lymphocytes, but I truly believe the prayers of God's people have carried me this far and He is not going to let me go now. Whatever is to come, I will face it with the Lord holding me the whole way. I pray that God answers the prayers so many of you and other friends and family have lifted up for my complete healing very soon. I know it's working! I even had the energy to cook supper last night and play outside with Zach. Lately all I've wanted to do is sit on the couch or sleep so this is a huge step.

Thank you Jesus for Cheseeeeee!

I must say that from about a day old, Zach has commanded the attention of the young females at our church. A few of the girls even came to see him and hold him in the hospital. I have always joked that there will come a time in his life when he's confused as to why all the girls don't want to kiss him. He's been so blessed to have all the attention and he really LOVES it. Now that's he talking more and learning all their names, we have a new "issue." It's not really a problem, but he repeats the girls names over and over again if we even come within a mile of the Kurch (his word for church). Last night as we passed the church, Zach started asking for Cheseeeeee (Chelsea), which is understandable because she usually sits with him if we are all at Wed. supper and she plays with him a lot. We've even taken Zach to see her where she works. Each time he said her name, it got louder and longer. He really wanted to see her! I kept telling him we'll see her tomorrow at church and he'd yell "NO, I wanna see her, hold her." It was pathetically cute and I told "Cheseeeeee" on her facebook wall that if I had $100 for every time he said her name last night, I'd be quite wealthy for a day's pay.

After we got home, the routine went as usual - cooking in his play kitchen, eating supper in the real kitchen, bath, books, bed. I was holding him before putting him down to bed and we were singing songs that he likes. He stopped and said pay...he wanted me to pray. So we held hands and bowed our heads and he waited for me to start the words. I always thank Jesus for simple things and people in his life like his family, friends, books, etc. Well I was in the middle of this and he looked up and said

Zach: "mommy? cheseee?"
Me: Oh do you want to thank Jesus for Chelsea?
Zach: Yesth
Me: okay, you can do that
Zach: Thank Jesuh fo cheseeeeee

It was so sweet, then he went down the list and thanked Jesus for MawMaw (my mom who he must call almost daily), Owie (his aunt Lori) Shebeee (Shelby), Emma, Hayee (Haylie) and Kim; Jenfuh, Nick, Nina (Linda babysitter), Papaw (babysitter's husband), mommy, daddy, Ayden, Alyssa, and on and on. I was amazed at how many people he could remember by name. He repeated a few, but mostly said all original names.

I think it's great that he's learning the concept of being thankful and learning that we can pray about the people we love and thank the Lord for them. Now some people would say a two year old could never understand the concept of God and Jesus and prayer, but I have to disagree somewhat. He understands in his two-year-old way and that's all he needs to understand right now.

The picture is of him and "Cheseeeee" last fall. She took it at Judgment House on her cell phone. Oh, he's the Zebra haha

Can you pick yourself up? Or, do you need some help?

This actually happened more than a week ago, but I've been slammed at work so this is my first chance to start writing again.

Last night (April 6) we didn't go to church. I figured since David went to the Urgent Treatment Center for a sinus and ear infection on Saturday and I went for my recurring cough, we needed to rest. We took a nap yesterday afternoon and Zach decided his nap would not be the usual 3 hours, so David went to his room and cuddled with him in the recliner and they fell back asleep. So did I...until 4:30. Oh my gosh, don't ever let your child nap that long, it really makes the nighttime SUCK!

We all got up and made our way downstairs to the living room, err play room. We were all on the floor and Zach had all his Little People out, playing with his farm. We keep all the Little People things in a canvas "box" with handles. Zach dumped everything out on the floor and I thought he was going to begin to fill up the barn as usual. Well no, he told me he needed to "get in." So I let him get in the canvas box. He likes to sit inside it sometimes and let us drag him around, and so on. This time he stood up, grabbed the handles and started to pull and strain and say UP UP UP. David and I got a kick out of it and let him stay at it for awhile. He really thought he could pick himself up by lifting the box he was standing inside. Soon he tired of it and said "MOMMY , HELP, UP!" I told him to sit down as it is not safe to lift the box with him standing up. He refused, but finally realized I was not going to lift him up until he did what I said and became a little more submissive.

Even writing that made my AHA moment even more so. How many times do I try to do things myself, even when it's obvious I can't? How many times do I cry out to my heavenly Father to help me, but then refuse to do what He wants me to before He reaches down and picks me up? SO MANY times - countless times. You'd think I'd learn by now that His conditions are just for my wellbeing, but no, that old selfish girl that wants to keep saying "I DID IT!" continues to rear her ugly head. I'm still amazed at how much my child teaches me about my spiritual condition - if I let God use him to do so.

Do I really NEED it? Or, do I just WANT it?

I've never been one of those "cry-it-out" moms and that's dictated a lot of the way I've dealt with night time parenting. It may have taken us a little longer to reach "milestones" like sleeping all night (what is that by the way?), weaning from the night time bottle, etc. But, I'm okay with that I've always felt we are doing what's right for our family and our child. People who choose to do things another way are just doing what they believe is right for their child as well and I really don't judge them for it one way or the other. After all, we all know our own children best and we parent them according to that knowledge.

Zach still "needed" his night night baba until he was two. We tried several times to offer a sippy cup instead since that is what he uses during the day. But, it made bedtime so traumatic and drawn out for us (he would throw the sippy across the room, scream BABA and cry for EVER). I realized he just wasn't ready to give up that last bit of infant comfort so I let him continue as I watered down the milk and tried to trick him into just drinking water. But now with potty training in full swing, I just felt it was a good time to try again. My theory was that doesn't want a sippy, therefore he didn't really NEED the milk and he would likely give it all up if he was ready to get rid of the baba. My theory was partly proven. I bought a special night night cup and he actually went for it this time, drank half the amount of milk and went to bed with no crying, no whining. Then a few nights he even refused the milk and said "I don't want it." I thought we had achieved total weaning bliss, then he learned how to use the words need and please against me.

Last night, Zach ate a great dinner (rare) and drank all his milk. He went upstairs willingly to the bath and then snuggled up in the recliner for books and songs before bed. I didn't even offer milk, since he has refused it the last three or four nights. He'd laid there listening for quite awhile and then said, "MILK, peas mommy." I told him that he didn't need any milk, that he'd just had some at dinner. Then he put on his biggest pout, took his pacifier out and said "I need it" in the best "I will wrap you around my finger" voice I have ever heard. He kept saying how he needed it and drawing out the word "need." Now I know he didn't "need" it; he just "wanted" it. So did I cave? No, I didn't; I just kept singing over him saying "I need it, peas mommy, I neeeeeeeeed it." OH my gosh the kid can make you feel like crap haha. He finally did go down, but not without a little fight. He moaned for nearly an hour after I left the room. Moaning and talking to his animals, turning his womb bear off and on, yelling for Davey (he's been refusing to say daddy lately) and Mommy. Davey went in several times and just put a hand on his back to try and calm him. But this went on ALL freaking night. I think it has something to do with his accidentally, ultra-long nap yesterday afternoon. (FYI, toddlers do NOT need to sleep more than 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon just because parents need to nap too.) David finally went in and just slept with Zach in the recliner, but no one slept well.

In my tired stupor this morning, I've been thinking a lot about need versus want and how much I actually "whine" about things in my own life. I NEED winter to be over (now there are some health issues involved concerning vit. D, but I digress); I NEED to move back to Texas or Oklahoma; I NEED ice cream; I NEED to get a perfect evaluation at work. This list of NEEDS can go on and on all day long, but how many of them, when I really break it down, really are true needs? Probably close to zero percent. Fact is, I WANT all of those things, but will I die if I don't get them? Probably not, although the winter one and moving home are hard to decipher at times!

I think I just need to learn to be more satisfied with what I have and quit worrying about what I don't have.

Kiss My Mole!

Every night Zachary and I read a book about Trucks. Each page has a different truck with a different texture or function. Each page also has other items like animals, planes, trees, etc. Usually, I point to the other items and ask him to tell me what they are and if it's an animal what sound it makes. He usually gets them all correct, but animal stumps him every time - a mole. I'll point to it and ask him what it is and he just endlessly stares but never attempts to tell me (even though, I've told him several times). The last two nights I figured out why he's so stumped.

This may be TMI, but I have a mole high on my chest, near my shoulder. When he was still pretty small, he discovered said mole and to this day, thinks it's the funniest thing ever. He'll touch it and laugh; he can find it in the dark. He used to try to pinch it and scratch it...well you get the idea; he is enamored with my mole. Wednesday night, I pointed to the mole in the book and said "mole." Zachary started laughing and saying it too. Apparently a light bulb flashed in his head because he put one finger on the mole in the book and one finger on MY mole and just kept giggling. That was funny enough in itself, but then he took his paci out of his mouth (yes he still uses his paci at night) and said "I kiss it." I asked him what he was going to kiss and he said "you mole mommy." Oh dear, here we go with mole obsession again...and then he did it; he kissed my mole, and he kissed it again and again, laughing all the while.

I think we need to find another book - or maybe I should just get the mole removed!

Good news

Without giving a lot of details, I want to let all of you who have been interested in the nursery drama know some good news.

I had a meeting yesterday afternoon with the powers that be and change is on the horizon. He was very receptive to new ideas at least for Sunday night worship time and that is a great start. He asked me to help out with some "plans" and I'm glad to do it. Basically we want to get the parents involved (and anyone else who has an interest in 2-4 year-olds). We're going to develop a rotating schedule just like extended session on Sunday mornings. I already tentatively have 5 or 6 lined up in the rotation who have expressed some interest. If I can find a few more, people would only have to work their shift once every two months. We're looking for people who really want to step into the world of these tots and engage them on their level. I feel really positive about this and I am praying it works.

I think the way it will work for now is that the current crew will work during discipleship and then parents/volunteers will take over for worship time. As it grows, we may be able to have more volunteer involvement in the earlier time slot as well, but you have to start somewhere.

I did get an apology and a promise to discuss the "naughty" comment with the person who said it. I'm glad I'm not the one who has to tell the ladies things are going to change.

I really want to believe things are in an upward swing; attitudes and plans, etc. So hey, if any of you were serious about helping out....now's the time to tell me :)

Toddler's really have no size perception

Zach has started pointing out things on our drive home each night, naming each one and saying it over and over again followed or preceeded by "Mommy." He needs to know that I know that he knows the names of things.

So last night we were driving by Stokely's Marine, like every other night and Zach was saying "Mommy, boat! BOAT, Mommy! Right der, Mommy! BOAT!" I was agreeing with him and telling him how smart he is for knowing what a boat is called. Then I decided to mess with him a bit, I just couldn't resist, as is often the case.

Me: "So, you like those boats?"
Zach: "Yesth"
Me: "Do you want to take one home?"
Zach eyes widening "YESTH!"
Me: "Do you want to take it home and put it in the bathtub with you tonight?"
Zach: "YESTH!"
Me: "haha do you really think it will fit in your bathtub, bean?"
Zach (bean): "yeah."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Zach: "YESTH, Mommy!"

David and I started laughing a little but Zach kept yelling for the boat as we passed by and then I felt a tiny bit bad for messing with him.

This morning on the way in, in the half-dark morning Zach was doing his usual pointing out of the moon, cars, etc. Then we pass Stokely's again and he said "MOMMY, I want it!" while pointing at the boats. I really did feel bad then.