Don't Hurt Me, Doctor!

Monday about 3:30, the babysitter calls to say Zachary has a low-grade fever and is complaining that his right ear hurts. We don't take any chances since the febrile seizure (read...we are OCD about fever prevention) so we took him to the twilight clinic that evening.

One of the intern doctors was seeing patients...don't know his last name, but his first was Craig. He was really nice and very good with Zachary. He explained that he had to look in his ear and Zach was all up for that, just kept telling him that his ear hurt.

As soon as Dr. Craig started to take a look, Zach panicked a bit...he started saying "Don't hurt me, doctor." Each time he said it, he got a little louder. Dr. Craig's first mistake was saying he would not hurt the boy. (Word of advice: don't tell a kid something will not hurt, when you just aren't that sure!) He kept having to get a bit of wax out and each time, Zachary flinched a bit more. The final time, Dr. Craig must've really went for it, because Zach started trembling and clenching his fists and yelling "YOU HURT ME! YOU HURT MEEEEEEEEE" followed by sobs and bucketloads of tears. I just held his head against my chest and wanted to cry with him.

The doctor felt really bad, but he wasn't finished. He told Zach that he'd still have to look in there. Zach was pretty adamant that he didn't do that, but finally relented. Bingo, ear infection number one of the winter. And now...mommy has the illness that caused the baby's ear infection...oh joy!

"I don't love you; I'm mad at you; Don't touch me!"

Yes, those words all spewed out of my child's mouth a few days ago...all of them at once, followed by him laying prone on the bed waiting for my reaction. Now, what horrible act on my part caused this? I'm still not really sure, however; it must've been me telling him to be quiet and lay down as it was time for sleep.

I have to admit the first time I heard him tell me he didn't love me, I cried. It had been a long day and I needed the unconditional love of my child. So that reaction has been my demise. Now, anytime I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do, he pouts for a few minutes then says "I don't love you." He's said it a lot the past few days. I don't want it to hurt my feelings, but it stings every time he says it. Although, my reaction now is far from crying. I've resolved to either tell him that's rude, ugly, etc. or to not react at all and just say okay, so you say.

I hope this habit ends quickly as I am getting more and more perturbed by it each day.

It has made me stop and think about my reaction to my heavenly Father when he asks something of me. I do tend to grumble and gripe and occasionally I don't feel love for him. I know that won't be a popular thing to say, but sometimes human emotions can be raw. How many times has he beckoned me to read my Bible a little longer, pray a little longer, treat someone nicer, give more sacrificially, love more unconditionally, be less judgemental and on and on? My reaction is probably more often than not one that nonverbally tells him I don't love him. He must be frustrated with me. Man these kids teach us so many lessons!!!

Crowns, wannabe princes and an ode to cokes

So my dentist made the very unpopular decision that my back molar needed a crown after the umpteenth crack and/or chip. (I blame this all on the other dentist, whom I will not name, who didn't treat this tooth right years ago). Anyway, I knew it was going to be rough because they can never get me numb. They will give me all the novocaine the law will allow and my entire face will be impalpable, but my jaw will still feel the drill! Needless to say, I am the ideal candidate for sedation dentistry, which by all means is a very nice way to nap through a procedure and then the rest of the day! So the actual procedure was painless and I had a great peaceful nap, but then the tooth started hurting like crazy. Every couple of days I called the dentist and they said it had been a very deep filling and thus, would be sore for several days. By the end of week two of my jawache, I'd really had enough so they brought me in and sure enough, the sucker had come loose and my bite was off. It wasn't too bad, I went sans drugs for that adjustment, but it still hurt like he double hockey sticks for a bit. That was Thursday, this is Tuesday and it's FINALLY subsiding to a tolerable level. Then they call this morning and say my perm crown won't be in until a week later than originally planned due to the lab's vacation time. So I get the perm crown on January 13; I tried to postpone it till January 20 so I can be numbed from the pain of two events...the crown and Obama's innauguration, but no luck!

Anyway, lately Zachary has turned into a gripier version on himself. For those of you who don't cohabitate with him, I know this is very hard to believe since he's so stinkin happy everywhere else. But trust me when I say, I'm SO ready for the wannabe prince and terrible twos phase to end! I don't want to fast forward his age, just his behaviour! God blessed me with a very independent-loving, determined, persistent and overly stubborn bundle of joy. Those traits can be very good, but even he doesn't know what to truly do with them yet.

This morning he wanted a bar (his plea for anything that is rectangle and comes in a wrapper...granola bar, fruit bar, etc.) I let him pick it out and try to open it. He couldn't get it all the way open, so allowed me to intervene. Only , when it opened he stomped off and said "No, Not THAT one!!!" I was dumbfounded since it was all his idea and he picked it out. So I took a bite to show him it was fine....wrong action. He freaked on me and ran into the corner of kitchen cabinets and began crying and yelling no, that he wanted a banana or candy or whatever he could think of to scream. I just watched and tried to plan my distracting technique. I thought "hmm, he LOVES the camera...hmmmm." So I went to get it and then started taking pictures of his tantrum as he laid prone on the floor. Well, that didn't go over too well and he just looked up at me red-faced and bawling and started screaming at me not to take his picture.

I just left him to his fit and went about getting ready. He pretty much carried on this way until we got to the baby sitter's and his yogurt magically ended the tantrum. I didn't try to brush his hair though; I didn't want to press my luck. I left my camera card at home or I would post a pic of the tantrum on here...so he could look at it later when he raids my computer haha. Oh well, I can always add it later! God love him, he's just so TWO!

So I'm swearing off cokes this week...yes any carbonated beverage is a sworn enemy this week. I don't need them, as evidenced by my nearly 6 pound weight loss yesterday on water alone...WOW is that even possible? Here is my ode to the carmely-colored, fizzy beverage.

Oh the joy I have felt
When at first your fumes I smelt.

The sound you make when I open the can
is more satisfying than any well-conceived plan.

Your glorious taste on my tongue
reminds me of when I was so young.

The sadness I feel when I drink the last drop
is worse than when I got stopped by that cop.

We will meet again, you and me
but on a less-frequent basis, you will see.

For I am not fond of feeling puffed up
so with you no more will I sup.

You've taken up residence too long and I'm kicking you OUT!

My Bizarre Bengals

This is the first installment of my bizarre bengals...heck they probably need a blog to themselves. This one is dedicated to Aggie, the smaller of the sisters. I catch her nearly every morning staring at herself in my bedroom mirror....even in the dark. I think in this photo she was trying to hide her obsession by looking a tad snobby! (or the flash bothered her, I dunno!)

The Never-Ending Duck Loop

Someone on facebook triggered a memory from the weekend through their status post and I thought I should probably blog it since it's cute and I'll want to remember it.

Zachary has been learning to play Duck Duck Goose. You know the childhood game where kids sit in a circle and someone is "it" and they walk round and round the circle tapping the kids on the head saying "duck, duck, ....Goose." Then the "Goose" has to get up and chase the "it" kid around the circle. If the "it" kids makes it back to the empty spot in the circle without being tagged, the "goose" kid becomes the "it" kid and the game repeats.

Well, if anyone knows Zach, they know of his notorious reputation for hating sleep. I've never seen him willing fall asleep anywhere. He usually fights it with all his being. If you see him start to drift off, he starts to move his body in some way to wake himself back up...or he asks to go potty, drink water, sing a song...all the age-old toddler, sleep avoidance tactics...EVERY time.

Lately, he's been using the DDG game as a sleep aversion tactic. He'll be laying semi-still and quiet and all the sudden, under his breath, nearly inaudible he begins saying "duck...duck...duck...duck...duck........duck.....duck...............duck." Finally I say "GOOSE! Now hush and go to sleep." He'll say..."not yet, mommy...duck....duck...." At that point, I just have to kiss his little head and leave the room, which rarely ends the sleep aversion. The only thing that ends it is complete exhaustion. I'm surprised the kid sleeps at all.

He's gonna be a rocker, I just know it

Zach is so interested in music and it seems his favorite thing to listen to is anything with a lot of intensity in drums/guitar/bass. So yeah, he may be heading for a future of guitar attachment and riding buses from town to town haha.

Seriously though, there are very few "kiddie" songs he likes. He's very content to, and even asks to, listen to the radio or my CD collection. He's especially fond of some groups I followed around and hung out with in college (Cross Canadian Ragweed, Mike McClure Band, Stoney Larue, etc.) This would make my friends in these bands happy I'm sure...a two-year-old fan club member. It just cracks me up. I am thoroughly grateful that we don't have to spend long hours listening to Veggie Tales and Barney - it's definitely a perk.

Yesterday morning we had to sit in the car in the driveway of the babysitter's driveway so he could finish listening to a CCR song. He was jamming in the car seat, bobbing his head, kicking his feet to the rhythm and moving his fingers for some reason...either the air guitar or the air piano...whatever. It was entertaining and he was enjoying it so much. He also yells for me to turn it up loud...to the point that I cannot hear him talking. I try to oblige him as much as I can, but I think if we got it loud enough for him, it would damage his ears for sure. I'll try to go find the song he was listening to....

I'm a techno idiot today apparently...I can't figure out how to post a song on blogger grrrr. It's Wanna Rock & Roll - CCR.

The Nursery Files

I wonder if the nurseries of other churches are as challenging as ours? In a big church, there are a lot of children, which requires a large number of volunteers. Ideally, everyone who has children volunteers in the ministry in some way. If that happened, you probably wouldn't see frustrated, burned out children's workers. Most ministries have fewer volunteers than participants and children's ministry is certainly no exception. I think it's really great to see people volunteering who don't have young children, it's quite remarkable if you think about it.

Being able to leave your child in a fun, safe place with interactive volunteers whom you trust is a luxury for certain. I "teach" the creepers Sunday school class at my church and I love "my" babies. We have a great time blowing bubbles, finding suitable art projects and singing songs and I'm blessed with responsible ladies who rotate in each week to help out...Darlene, Terri, Michelle, Kathy and Abby and Rachel...you girls are awesome and I'm never worried that you won't show up without calling or trying to swap dates if you have conflicts.

However, we've had a problem lately with the reliability of the workers who relieve us in time for us to go to choir/church service. Sometimes they just don't show up..or only one of the two does. They don't call to let anyone know or try to find a replacement. Not all of them do this, but take yesterday for example...NO ONE came. Thankfully I was not scheduled to sing on praise team and Michelle and I were able to stay. Three times in the last month, one of us has had to stay for church because of a no-show. Usually I didn't find out about it until afterwards because when one of the workers comes, I leave to go sing.

I guess I'm just venting a little because I certainly don't mind taking care of the kiddos. I love them like my own when they are in my care. But, I have other obligations too that require me to rely on the responsibility of others to remember when they are serving. I didn't think that was asking too much, but apparently it is.

Pretty much everyone who reads my blog (that I know of) takes their responsibilities very seriously. The ones who need to hear what I'm saying will never read this hahahaha, isn't it ironic?