T W O

Is it really possible that two years have come and gone so quickly? I still remember the shock, excitement and anxiety I felt when our baby boy came a few weeks early. I hoped and prayed he would be okay while having to make a premature entry into the world. All my fears were put to rest when I saw him - all 6 lbs and 7 oz. - he was perfect at that moment. In fact, everything was perfect at that moment. I thought that I finally knew what love really was all about. But, in the past two years, I've realized I have just begun to fully understand love. Every time I think I've learned to love with all my heart, I learn to love even deeper.

The past two years have been filled with SO many tears, laughs, shrieks of frustration and jubilation, puzzled looks and exploration. All the cats still have their tails and no crayon marks have yet made it to the walls. We've had too many ear infections to count and now new words are spilling out faster than I keep up with as well.

Zach's birthday party was so much fun. He and 13 of his little friends had a blast at Gymboree Play and Music. Miss Jenny did such a great job keeping the kiddos entertained. Zach is usually larger than life at Gymboree, but when all the other tots showed up, he looked really confused. He just wasn't used to seeing them out of their "place." He is used to seeing the church kids at church and the babysitter kids at the babysitter. But combining them in a place where he usually sees a whole different crop of tots was confusing. He seemed a little overwhelmed that all the songs Miss Jenny sang were about him too. Once things got going though, he did end up having a great time and I think most of the other kids did too; I don't really remember any major tantrums.

I started thinking about the "out of place" stuff. Would my "church" friends recognize me in another setting? Would my "non-church" friends recognize me at church? For that matter, does my heavenly father recognize me out in the world, away from church? I guess it all comes down to being consistent in attitude and actions. I know there are a lot of times I've probably seemed like two different people at the very least. But that's not what I want to be; I want to be real all the time. It shouldn't really be such a struggle, but sometimes it is.