heart in the clouds

Friday, February 19, 2010

and it's One, Two, Three Frames, You're Out...

Alrighty, Z's first bowling experience was not especially pleasant. You see, David is a serious bowler and he hasn't played in about 6 years. Yes, we've been married just under 6 years, so I suppose this is all my fault hmmm? Anyway, I got a little sneaky because I knew he missed it and he really needs a hobby. I got him hooked up with a league that plays on Friday nights. At first he was just going to be an alternate for the rest of this season, but it turns out there was an opening and now he's a full timer.

The first week, he went by himself, but last week we decided to make it a family affair. Now I'm not a big bowler by any stretch of the imagination. I do have fond memories of bowling alleys and nachos though as I used to tag along with my mom and grandma in their league bowling days. I know it sounds silly, but those were the best nachos in the world...or maybe it was just because my Ma bought them and shared them with me....probably the latter. Geez I miss her, but I digress.

So Z and I ate Nachos last week...they were pretty nasty, I must admit...and watched David bowl while we waited for our own lane. They finally called our name and said we could play one game if we were done in about 45 mins. I thought...NO problem, we'd be done in 30 or less...HA HA HA. We picked out our mighty 8 lb balls and put on those nasty shoes (I swear I'm not wearing them ever again, I forgot how completely unfashionable and ugly they are) Mine were fushia and neon yellow...seriously?

We got the computer set up and the bumpers raised and I led Z up to the line to push his ball....it was the slowest moving ball I've ever seen, and that's when I realized we'd be lucky to finish in an hour...much less 45 mins. By the third frame, he was getting bored....he pushed his ball and it went about 3 feet and pretty much stopped...great, now what? Well, I forgot how slippery the lanes were and told Z to just walk out there and give it a push. Losing mom points yet again, he shuffled out there and leaned down to push the ball and yes...he fell. He got up and then picked up the ball...crap....before I could tell him to put it down, he fell again - this time the ball landed on his lap, smushed his fingers to the wood lane and he was crying. Obviously only thinking of saving my child, I walked out onto the lane and yes, surely and very suddenly my legs flew out from under me and I landed flat on my tail bone, legs out in front barely missing my child's face with my nasty bowling shoes. That sent him into a bigger cry and there we sat 3 feet into the lane, me holding him while he cried. I'm still baffled by the way NOT ONE PERSON offered to help us out...RUDE. I later found out that one lady on David's team saw the whole thing and never bothered to tell him...nice, real nice. So we crawled out and Z decided right then and there he hated bowling and he would not push another ball.

I do not waste money and we had paid $12 for this awesome experience, so I had to finish the whole thing by myself. He followed me to the lane each frame, so I couldn't really swing the ball. I think I bowled about a 60 that night...nice, real nice. Oh, did I mention that I really could not care less about bowling?

Then in the 8th frame...some magical happened. The people in the next lane had this metal contraption, apparently made for children to roll the ball down onto the lane so it's not such a painful wait for the ball to make it to the pins. They let us use it and Z became an instant fan of the sport because now, it was not bowling, it was a ball on a roller coaster, flying down the lane to massively destruct white poles and then waiting for the ball to magically reappear in the ball return...how does that happen so fast anyway?

So tonight, we'll try our hand again at bowling...only this time, we'll use the roller coaster beginning on frame ONE! I think most of the soreness of last week's disaster has worn off and we'll try to toe the line this time :) Still not sure if Z is going to love this as much as his daddy.

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