heart in the clouds

Monday, March 31, 2008

Do I really NEED it? Or, do I just WANT it?

I've never been one of those "cry-it-out" moms and that's dictated a lot of the way I've dealt with night time parenting. It may have taken us a little longer to reach "milestones" like sleeping all night (what is that by the way?), weaning from the night time bottle, etc. But, I'm okay with that I've always felt we are doing what's right for our family and our child. People who choose to do things another way are just doing what they believe is right for their child as well and I really don't judge them for it one way or the other. After all, we all know our own children best and we parent them according to that knowledge.

Zach still "needed" his night night baba until he was two. We tried several times to offer a sippy cup instead since that is what he uses during the day. But, it made bedtime so traumatic and drawn out for us (he would throw the sippy across the room, scream BABA and cry for EVER). I realized he just wasn't ready to give up that last bit of infant comfort so I let him continue as I watered down the milk and tried to trick him into just drinking water. But now with potty training in full swing, I just felt it was a good time to try again. My theory was that doesn't want a sippy, therefore he didn't really NEED the milk and he would likely give it all up if he was ready to get rid of the baba. My theory was partly proven. I bought a special night night cup and he actually went for it this time, drank half the amount of milk and went to bed with no crying, no whining. Then a few nights he even refused the milk and said "I don't want it." I thought we had achieved total weaning bliss, then he learned how to use the words need and please against me.

Last night, Zach ate a great dinner (rare) and drank all his milk. He went upstairs willingly to the bath and then snuggled up in the recliner for books and songs before bed. I didn't even offer milk, since he has refused it the last three or four nights. He'd laid there listening for quite awhile and then said, "MILK, peas mommy." I told him that he didn't need any milk, that he'd just had some at dinner. Then he put on his biggest pout, took his pacifier out and said "I need it" in the best "I will wrap you around my finger" voice I have ever heard. He kept saying how he needed it and drawing out the word "need."
Now I know he didn't "need" it; he just "wanted" it. So did I cave? No, I didn't; I just kept singing over him saying "I need it, peas mommy, I neeeeeeeeed it." OH my gosh the kid can make you feel like crap haha. He finally did go down, but not without a little fight. He moaned for nearly an hour after I left the room. Moaning and talking to his animals, turning his womb bear off and on, yelling for Davey (he's been refusing to say daddy lately) and Mommy. Davey went in several times and just put a hand on his back to try and calm him. But this went on ALL freaking night. I think it has something to do with his accidentally, ultra-long nap yesterday afternoon. (FYI, toddlers do NOT need to sleep more than 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon just because parents need to nap too.) David finally went in and just slept with Zach in the recliner, but no one slept well.

In my tired stupor this morning, I've been thinking a lot about need versus want and how much I actually "whine" about things in my own life. I NEED winter to be over (now there are some health issues involved concerning vit. D, but I digress); I NEED to move back to Texas or Oklahoma; I NEED ice cream; I NEED to get a perfect evaluation at work. This list of NEEDS can go on and on all day long, but how many of them, when I really break it down, really are true needs? Probably close to zero percent. Fact is, I WANT all of those things, but will I die if I don't get them? Probably not, although the winter one and moving home are hard to decipher at times!

I think I just need to learn to be more satisfied with what I have and quit worrying about what I don't have.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Kiss My Mole!

Every night Zachary and I read a book about Trucks. Each page has a different truck with a different texture or function. Each page also has other items like animals, planes, trees, etc. Usually, I point to the other items and ask him to tell me what they are and if it's an animal what sound it makes. He usually gets them all correct, but animal stumps him every time - a mole. I'll point to it and ask him what it is and he just endlessly stares but never attempts to tell me (even though, I've told him several times). The last two nights I figured out why he's so stumped.

This may be TMI, but I have a mole high on my chest, near my shoulder. When he was still pretty small, he discovered said mole and to this day, thinks it's the funniest thing ever. He'll touch it and laugh; he can find it in the dark. He used to try to pinch it and scratch it...well you get the idea; he is enamored with my mole. Wednesday night, I pointed to the mole in the book and said "mole." Zachary started laughing and saying it too. Apparently a light bulb flashed in his head because he put one finger on the mole in the book and one finger on MY mole and just kept giggling. That was funny enough in itself, but then he took his paci out of his mouth (yes he still uses his paci at night) and said "I kiss it." I asked him what he was going to kiss and he said "you mole mommy." Oh dear, here we go with mole obsession again...and then he did it; he kissed my mole, and he kissed it again and again, laughing all the while.

I think we need to find another book - or maybe I should just get the mole removed!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Good news

Without giving a lot of details, I want to let all of you who have been interested in the nursery drama know some good news.

I had a meeting yesterday afternoon with the powers that be and change is on the horizon. He was very receptive to new ideas at least for Sunday night worship time and that is a great start. He asked me to help out with some "plans" and I'm glad to do it. Basically we want to get the parents involved (and anyone else who has an interest in 2-4 year-olds). We're going to develop a rotating schedule just like extended session on Sunday mornings. I already tentatively have 5 or 6 lined up in the rotation who have expressed some interest. If I can find a few more, people would only have to work their shift once every two months. We're looking for people who really want to step into the world of these tots and engage them on their level. I feel really positive about this and I am praying it works.

I think the way it will work for now is that the current crew will work during discipleship and then parents/volunteers will take over for worship time. As it grows, we may be able to have more volunteer involvement in the earlier time slot as well, but you have to start somewhere.

I did get an apology and a promise to discuss the "naughty" comment with the person who said it. I'm glad I'm not the one who has to tell the ladies things are going to change.

I really want to believe things are in an upward swing; attitudes and plans, etc. So hey, if any of you were serious about helping out....now's the time to tell me :)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Toddler's really have no size perception

Zach has started pointing out things on our drive home each night, naming each one and saying it over and over again followed or preceeded by "Mommy." He needs to know that I know that he knows the names of things.

So last night we were driving by Stokely's Marine, like every other night and Zach was saying "Mommy, boat! BOAT, Mommy! Right der, Mommy! BOAT!" I was agreeing with him and telling him how smart he is for knowing what a boat is called. Then I decided to mess with him a bit, I just couldn't resist, as is often the case.

Me: "So, you like those boats?"
Zach: "Yesth"
Me: "Do you want to take one home?"
Zach eyes widening "YESTH!"
Me: "Do you want to take it home and put it in the bathtub with you tonight?"
Zach: "YESTH!"
Me: "haha do you really think it will fit in your bathtub, bean?"
Zach (bean): "yeah."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Zach: "YESTH, Mommy!"

David and I started laughing a little but Zach kept yelling for the boat as we passed by and then I felt a tiny bit bad for messing with him.

This morning on the way in, in the half-dark morning Zach was doing his usual pointing out of the moon, cars, etc. Then we pass Stokely's again and he said "MOMMY, I want it!" while pointing at the boats. I really did feel bad then.

Monday, March 24, 2008

A Naughty, Naughty Boy....Really? Whatever...

I often wonder how one comment of just five words can light my fire so high. How can the English language have that much power? That's all it took last night. I was a little worked up before the comment was handed down to my child in front of me, so perhaps that was just enough to send me over the edge. Whatever...Whatever...Whatever. I thought that if I waited at least overnight to blog about it, I would have calmed down. But even now as I start to go over the series of last night's events, I'm getting angry all over again.

Every Sunday night for many months....for almost a year, David and I cringe at the thought of going to church. It sounds silly doesn't it? We love going to church; we love being involved in many church ministries and we love our church family. That's why it's hard to wrap my mind around the feeling I have every time I have to take my child to THAT nursery on Sunday night. He just absolutely despises that room. I've analyzed it every which way I can and tried to come up with a way for him to be happy on Sunday nights. You see, Zach does great on Sunday mornings and even on Wednesday nights. He loves his teachers and has a wonderful time. I never get a complaint about him being "naughty." Sheesh how TRULY "naughty" can a two-year-old be anyway? I know they have fits and tempers and very strong opinions, but is that really "naughty?" NO it's not.

So rewind to last night. We've told the ladies in THAT room that if he cries for more than 5 or 10 minutes; it's not normal and they need to call us (because in the past they didn't call us out and he was left to scream and cry for a half-hour or more.) Ten minutes into the service, his number flashes on the alert screen. I was singing in choir so David went to get him. He said the minute he walked out the sanctuary door he could hear Zach screaming from around the corner and down the hall. It doesn't surprise me; this is getting to be an every Sunday night ordeal. When he got to the room, he said Zach was standing alone in the middle screaming his lungs out and it took him quite awhile to calm down even when he realized he was able to leave the room.

After I finished singing, I went to find them. They were in his Sunday School room playing with trucks; Zach's eyes still red. We decided to just go on home, so we made our way into the hall and talked to a few stragglers out there and I bent down to put on Zach's coat. One of the ladies from THAT room walked by, bent down a bit in front of Zach and pointed her finger at him and said "You naughty, naughty boy Zachary!" For some reason, those five words burned me up so hot. I spouted back that he was not a naughty boy just because he was crying for his parents. She started walking off and said something that I honestly cannot remember because I was so mad I'd stopped hearing her. I know I raised my voice when I told her he hates that room and it's the only room he acts that way in. She kept walking away not even listening to me. RUDE RUDE RUDE. I will not EVER take my son back to that room.

I'm still trying to figure out what I should do; who should I talk to about it. We've had issues with those same ladies before but our complaints have fallen on deaf ears; or perhaps ears that hear too many complaints that seem exaggerated or false or whatever. We came up with an alternative solution for Wednesday night so that Zach is not with them and he's completely happy...(Love you K and H Goode)!!

I know many parents who have complained about THAT room for years and many of them just don't come to church when they realize THAT room is where their kids have to go during that activity. I don't want to just be a complainer; I'm willing to be part of the solution; believe me! We need to get the parents of those kiddos involved and do a rotating schedule just like Sunday morning service. I would do it and I'm sure others would too if that meant our kids actually got played with and read to, etc. The way it is now, the workers just sit in chairs and basically stare at the kids, offering food when they get upset. I walk by there often and have rarely seen much interaction with the children. Half of the room is even dark with a TV on, which in and of itself is enough to scare a toddler (DARK ROOM....scary monsters ding ding ding). Play music, play games...DO SOMETHING!!! Just because you've "done this for more than 20 years" doesn't meant you're good at it. Maybe you're burned out and frankly just doing it for the paycheck these days?!?! Oh man, I have to stop talking about; it's just making me mad all over again.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My sister is NOT a skier; met a angel on the slopes

I know my sister well; in fact I know her even better than she knows herself sometimes. That's why when she told me her family had decided to head to the slopes of AngelFire in New Mexico this spring, I had to quietly chuckle.

I remember when we were growing up in the youth group at Chisholm Heights Baptist Church in Mustang, Okla., we went on many "choir" tours together. One trip was to New Mexico, where we had a choice to ski or shop on our one free day. I chose to ski; she chose to shop. I fell twice that day - mostly due to the fact that I stayed on the easy trails all day and perfected my snow plow maneuver. I fell off the lift and then once more when some moron skied into me at the bottom of the slopes. My sis said she never regretted choosing shopping that day and I never regretted skiing, however I just don't feel the need to do it again.

My sister's husband is a pretty good skier and probably made it sound super easy. We have always teased her about having skis for feet, so I guess she thought it would be as easy as walking....ha ha yeah right.

So last night when she told me she twisted her knee on the 4.5 mile trail, I wasn't too surprised. You see, she's also always been very accident prone. She got her hand stuck in the car door before one of my softball games as a child; she fell down basement stairs, end over end, when visiting family in Ohio; she hurt her knee playing basketball in middle school and the list goes on. Now my sister is VERY good at so many other things - cooking, mothering, organizing, running her own business, at times having to be the big sister to me, her big sister and a variety of other tasks. She really is my hero, but the girl can't ski.

She spent two hours with an instructor and said she could barely stand up the entire time. She did persist however and she kept getting up and trying again, God love her. So I guess she was feeling a rush of confidence and decided to ride the lift to the top of Angel Fire's longest trail, 4.5 miles, she was doing great until she twisted her poor knee - not even a mile into the trail.
Here's where the cool part comes in: She was having a hard time and having to go very slow on her hurt knee. Her husband was trying to keep up with their natural ski bunny kiddos and still stay with my sister.

A sweet lady approached and told David to go on with the kids and she would stay with my sister until they reached the bottom. She kept giving Lori words of encouragement and telling her "just get to this tree," "it's not too far, don't give up," "you can do it, I believe in you." What a sacrifice for this lady to stick with my sis even though it probably wasn't the most fun thing to do. Finally 3 hours later, the angel lady and my sister realized she just wasn't going to make it. The lady asked Lori what her husband's name was and told her she would go find him and the ski patrol to come rescue her. My sister said she was crying and it was 27 degrees so the tears were practically freezing to her face. She skied to a hay bale and waited for the snow mobile.

I'm not telling this story to make fun of my sister and I'm not telling it to give glory to anyone but God, for He is the one who placed that lady in my sister's path yesterday. He gave her an encourager and someone to trust when she really needed it. Maybe this lady was an angel; maybe she wasn't - I know I've encountered a few in my short life (I'll tell you about them if you ask). But, we don't have to be physical angels to be there for other people, even those we don't know. This lady was living out the golden rule. It encouraged me and blessed me and hopefully motivated me to be more aware of the needs of people around me.

Lori - thanks for letting God use you - you inspired me and I'm sure you made that lady's day when she was able to help you. Love you sis!!!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Update on David and babysitter sabotage

Several people have asked me how David is doing and what we found out about his stroke. Thanks for asking and praying for him and for all of us.

After all the tests, the only thing they found remotely abnormal about David is that he has high LDL cholesterol and triglycerides. Now, I know several other abnormalities, but I guess none of those would realistically cause him to have a stroke...now me on the other hand hahaha...LOVE YOU HONEY! But seriously, his CT with angiogram was normal and his echocardiogram was normal. That's a relief to know. So for now, the neurologist put him on a cholesterol-lowering drug until he gets the LDL down and then he can try diet and exercise alone to get it the rest of the way down. They'll check the levels again in 3 to 4 months and we'll go from there.

Our chiropractor has vowed never to touch David's neck again and that's fine since David wasn't going to let him anyway. I still believe very much in the power of chiropractic, though. We just realize that some people have anomalies in their anatomy that makes them more vulnerable to injury with certain adjustments. The chiro is going to look at David's CT and determine the position of the arteries in his neck and tell us if he thinks that is what makes David vulnerable to chiropractic stroke.

Now to the other topic of this blog: babysitter sabotage....our loving babysitter really thinks Zach needs a little brother or sister despite my constant reassurance that we cannot afford more than $1,000 a month in childcare expenses at this time, she continues to bring it up.

Now she's gone so far as to teach Zachary to say he "wants" a sibling. I went to pick him up Thursday last week and she said "Tell mommy what you want Zachary." Zach proceeds to say "bufer" and "sisuh." Now she may think it's cute to put these words in his mouth, but I thought it was sort of well, manipulative. I'm probably overreacting. Yes, I know the clock is ticking. Yes, I know I'm not getting younger. Yes, I know that it's probably less than ideal to be an only child. Yes, I know it will be better to have a sibling to be there for Zach when his parent's kick it. Yes, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Going National: Follow up to my Elvis sighting

Well it turns out that the Elvis I saw was only an impersonator, but a pretty "good" one it seems - the story of his arrest made national news. He was a Lexington, Ky. resident who was on his way to a court appearance for stalking and violating a protective order. He was also intoxicated with blood alcohol levels at more than twice the legal limit. Hey, at least he wasn't driving to that court appearance haha. The funny thing is that he told police and court officials that he didn't think he was violating the protective order if he was impersonating Elvis at the time. I guess he figures he wasn't David Blaissell if he was choosing to be Elvis. What strange logic, eh?

He apparently stayed "in character" during his entire courtroom appearance even serenading police with popular Elvis tunes such as "Love Me Tender." They said he did sing Jailhouse Rock on his way to the detention center after his court appearance.
It all sounds humorous, but in a way I feel sorry for this guy because he obviously believes he is Elvis, enough to believe he doesn't have to obey an EPO as long as he's "being" Elvis.

Wouldn't it be convenient if we could choose to be someone else while we're doing wrong and hurtful things to others? It's not really a far stretch to say I've probably done something similar...dodged the blame for something I knew was wrong....made an excuse that I just wasn't myself that day and that's why I behaved a certain way... So David Blaisell, you're not any worse than any of us and I seriously hope you get the help you need, oh and some new clothes :)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Life outside the blogosphere

Wow, the last 5 or 6 days (I've lost count) have been horrendous. I haven't been this sick in years. I completely blame it on the snow because when I woke up Saturday morning and realized that I still had to go work the Lil Lambs consignment sale even though EVERY business in the city was shut down due to snow, I literally almost passed out. But I made it there safely, Starbucks in hand. Within 30 minutes I was getting lightheaded, cold and clammy but sweating....weird. I managed to do some things that didn't require a lot of effort, but once I got home the bug just bit me even harder. The chill and shake episodes I had rivaled those of when I had mastitis the first week after Zach was born and oh nelly, those are NOT GOOD. My fever was rising and fast.

Then came the cough...the one that hurts every part of your body so much that you just start crying when you feel the tingle that will create another episode. WOW it sucks!! I went to the doctor on Monday (I had the appt. set up already for something else). I don't think she realized she'd be pulling double duty. Anyway, dr. said bronchitis possibly walking pneumonia and put me on antibiotics and today I finally got the good cough medicine. I have yet to go to work this week; I really hope to go tomorrow. There's only so much shut in feeling I can take!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Elvis is Alive: Spotted thumbing it in the cold Kentucky Rain

Well folks, I guess Elvis IS alive, but not so well, in Kentucky. Yes, that's right; I saw him this morning, thumbing for a ride on an old Kentucky not-so-backroad in the cold Kentucky Rain. Apparently he was trying to live out the lyrics to that song. So sad though, dude was still dressed in his black, rhinestone-studded jumpsuit complete with cape, big sunglasses and sideburns. I must say he wasn't looking a day over 40, but I guess he could be just using Just For Men or something.

He was carrying an umbrella under his arm and heading south on HWY 27 just south of Lexington. If I hadn't been in morning rush, I would've slowed down to take a picture with the phone cam....darn!! Apparently he was creating a bit of what the Fayette County Sheriff described as a traffic hazard. So they picked him up and gave him a ride to the county line; dropped him off at Brannon Crossing. I suppose the Jessamine County Sheriff won't be far behind to give him a ride out of our county as well. Maybe he can get back to Memphis just by getting county-to-county sheriff chauffeurs? Hopefully he won't get put behind bars along the way; he may not be in the mood to reenact Jail House Rock.

We had to call my mom, a die-hard Elvis fan, in Oklahoma to tell her the news. She was very excited and said she knew it all along :)

Just in case you aren't familiar with the song he was bringing to life; here are the lyrics:

Seven lonely days
And a dozen towns ago
I reached out one night
And you were gone
Dont know why you'd run,
What you're running to or from
All I know is I want to bring you home

So I'm walking in the rain,
Thumbing for a ride
On this lonely Kentucky backroad
I've loved you much too long
And my loves too strong
To let you go, never knowing
What went wrong

Kentucky rain keeps pouring down
And up a head's another town
That I'll go walking thru
With the rain in my shoes,
Searchin' for you
In the cold Kentucky rain,
In the cold Kentucky rain

Showed your photograph
To some old gray bearded man
Sitting on a bench
Outside a general store
They said yes, she's been here
But their memory wasn't clear
Was it yesterday,
No, wait the day before

So I finally got a ride
With a preacher man who asked
Where you bound on such a dark afternoon?
As we drove on thru the rain
As he listened I explained
And he left me with a prayer
That I'd find you