heart in the clouds

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I was fine...until I wasn't...now I am...I think

We've been preparing for this day for ohhhh about 5 and a half years I suppose. I think when you're in the throes of diapers, bottles and sleepless nights, you can't see very far past that moment. Then come the milestones -- eating real food, crawling, walking, talking...tantrums. I'd like to say I've forgotten the tantrums, but nope, I haven't; they were really THAT bad.

Z started Montessori preschool when he was 3...and I thought that was a huge day. Now I can't really fathom where the past two years have gone. Right into the history books folks, because today...my baby, whom I brought home weighing in at a massive 5 lbs and 13 oz. went to kindergarten. We were well-prepared, or so I thought. David took him to his open house since I was Nashville with a few girlfriends for the MOPS convention. He met his teachers, saw where he'd sit, met some classmates, put away school supplies and toured the school.

His teacher is Mrs. Anna "Banana" Brannen. She's wonderful and I feel very happy that she's his teacher. We struggled so much with public vs. private school and when we finally decided to go to Jessamine Early Learning Village, I felt at peace. At registration, the form asked if we had a teacher preference. I didn't know any of them so I just began praying (at Rene Matthews suggestion) that God would put Zachary with the teacher who was just right for him. So it's a little easier to pray that prayer than to actually believe and trust that it would be heard...especially when you find out your child's soon to be teacher is also soon-to-be having a baby. I doubted for a few seconds...but then remembered yes, I had prayed for his teacher and God knows what he's doing and he cares about even these little things. I was able to go meet Mrs. Brannen yesterday (she allowed me to come while she was prepping her classroom because as a mother she understands that it was important for me to meet my kid's teacher...ahh love her already). When we walked into the room, she had Chris Tomlin blasting and Z immediately told her that's the music his mommy sings at church. We had a great talk and I even told her about my summer prayers and I think that meant a lot to her. I truly am at peace about her being his teacher, even though she'll be gone for 8 weeks...sigh. I think she's got a great plan for her absence...so we'll see how it goes. TRUST.

SO back to the title of the blog...I was fine when I got up this morning, even laughed when Z came running out of his room naked asking where his clothes were so he could go to kindergarten. He was so excited to get there and experience it all. I finished packing his lunch and breakfast and then we took some pictures on the porch...which irked him because it delayed us getting to the school.

We got there and he was perturbed that we had to wait outside...kept asking me every minute when he could go to his room. Finally, they let us in and he just about ran down the hall. I was fine at that moment; I felt good that he was so ready to be there. He was a little nervous, but most of it was excitement. I hugged him and started to leave the room, when there it happened...another mother opened the dam and started bawling. CRAP...I was fine...so I hurried out of the room hiding my swelling eyes from my exited 48-pounder.

I headed to drop off the inhaler at the nurses station...I was fine--until I wasn't. She told me I didn't have the right form for her to be able to administer the medicine. So all of the sudden thoughts of Z having a major asthma attack (though he has never had one) flooded my imagination and if you know me, that was the start of panic. I saw him gasping for air, begging for his inhaler and the nurse standing there saying she wished she could give him the medicine that would allow him to breathe and even though she has the prescription, she can't give it to him. Okay, okay, I was letting it go way too far and that's when I couldn't control it and my own dam burst. I'm still waiting on the dr. to fax his signature by the way, but school ends in 1 hour and 37 minutes so hopefully we're in the clear, but what if it happened on the bus...okay, I'm okay now...out of panic mode, sort of...I think.

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