heart in the clouds

Monday, February 11, 2008

My new horn

I bet I could make a million on this invention...customizable voice horn. I'm fed up with the jaywalkers on Nicholasville Rd. as it turns into Limestone on UK's campus. In the middle of the morning rush, EVERYDAY, someone runs out in front of me or the cars around me when they are merely 25 feet from a crosswalk. Mind you, people have been maimed and killed doing just this in the very recent past, but obviously that's not enough to deter these folks from their precarious habit of playing frogger in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

This morning it happened again, as usual, and I thought about honking at the death-wish pedestrian. However, I realized I didn't have the right horn. I need one that screams out "GET IN THE CROSSWALK, IT'S ONLY 10 FEET AWAY!" There could be other phrase options as well, such as "Should I sprinkle your ashes in the crosswalk, since that's where you should've been before I hit you?" or "Did I say you could run out in front of me?" or even "You deserve to get hit!"

Oh it's so hard to have compassion on Monday morning!!!!

3 comments:

Misty said...

I LOVE YOU! I need one for the people behind me that get so close to my back bumper that I can see the boogers in their noses. I want to scream out "hit me and I'll sue you, I've done it before!"

Then again, I figured out how to rig my back window washer to where it'll squirt the car behind me, heh.

I think "You can turn right on red when no one's coming, you dumdum!" should be another one.

aimeenky said...

I'll let you record the voices, because I'd just harsher words than dumdum haha. I tell you the only time I have an almost impossible time with bridling my tongue is on the road....and last night it took me almost 3 hours to go 10 miles...you can imagine the sinning I did :)

Misty said...

My mouth gets me in more trouble than anything, I just toned it down for any onlookers. I'd go to jail for what I'd record on the horn, ha ha!

Took me 30 minutes to deice my car this morning. I said son of a biscuit eater more than a few times.