Yes,it's true. I'm sending out a warm invitation to all bats in the Lexington area to swarm Lamont Drive tonight. There's a serious problem over there and we need your assistance. Don't worry, your payout will be large as there are millions of mosquitoes for your dining pleasure! Sometimes you just have to declare all-out war on the venomous little punks and call in the big guns...BATS! Bats are likely the most effective natural mosquito control out there.
You see, the mosquitoes on Lamont Drive have been dive bombing my son long enough. They will no longer prevail. The last straw was the evil, blood sucker who decided to bite Zachary at the outside corner of his right eye. This caused the eye to swell shut for about 24 hours. Today he can open it about halfway, but it's still pitiful.
The skeeters may think they are going to win this one, what with humidity and rain forecast for today. But just wait, your time is coming and you will not win this one. The first round of shock and awe will be coming in about an hour thanks to Cutter Bug Free Backyard spray and don't worry, if any of you survive the first round of attacks, my son will be wearing some natural bug spray we found last night at Whole Foods; enjoy the smell, we got it just for you! Then tonight, the bats will swoop in and finish off any of you stubborn lingerers. This is your warning - you serve no good purpose in the environment and you must prepare to die!!!!!!!!!!